Misfits In Space
by The-Mighty-Floyd
Summary: Chapter 7 up! Misfits appear courtesy of Red Witch. Part 2 in a trilogy. When the Yardans ask the Misfits to help them defeat the Morons, they readily agree. But all is not as it seems. See profile for update schedule.
1. I Need a Vacation!

_And now, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, presenting for your entertainment..._

_Red Witch's _Misfits

_Yes, the Misfits are back in this second installment of the groundbreaking new trilogy by The Mighty Floyd! Thrill to the excitement! Feel the wonder! Embrace the passion! Take pictures of Pietro dancing like a drunken llama! All this and more can you find in this wondrous tale known as..._

**Misfits In Space**

Written by The Mighty Floyd

Special thanks to Red Witch for use of the Misfits, and to L1701E for introducing me to them in the first place.

_Warning: I am familiar only with selected episodes of Season 1 of X-Men: Evolution and one GI Joe movie, so if these characters seem a little off, that's the reason._

Disclaimer: XE characters belong to Marvel. GI Joe characters belong to someone, possibly also Marvel. Misfits created by Red Witch, who also owns Althea, Trinity, Xi, and General Whithalf (who has to be my favorite supporting character). I own any and all new characters appearing in this story.

And now, with no further ado, on to our tale...

* * *

Chapter 1: "I Need a Vacation!"

* * *

_The Pit, Three Months after the events of _Misfits In Time...

"Now what?" asked General Hawk wearily, as he rubbed his eyes tiredly with his left hand. In his right, he held a pen, poised over a thick stack of papers, all of which needed to be filled out and filed. In fact, most of them should have been filled out and filed long ago. He was pretty sure that some of the papers in the pile were from as far back as 1987. He really didn't like doing paperwork.

"Well," began Beach Head, "they've sunk to a new low! They kidnapped Sgt. Snuffles and held him for ransom in the laundry room! They told me that I either had to give them a week's worth of Mello Dew, or they would give Sgt. Snuffles a 'detergent bath'!"

"Did you do it?" inquired Hawk.

"No, sir," answered Beach Head. "They're still in there waiting for my reply. Please, get back Sgt. Snuffles unharmed!"

Hawk sighed. "All right," he told the agitated Joe. "We'll get your bear back. Anything to get out of signing all these requisitions."

He stood, and followed Beach Head out of his office. Together, they made their way to the laundry room. On the way, they came across Roadblock and Low Light, who were sparring.

"The kids are at it again," Hawk told them. Roadblock groaned.

"What did they do this time?" he asked. "What is their latest crime?"

"They stole Beach Head's bear again," Hawk pointed at the masked Joe with his thumb.

"Kidnapped!" yelled Beach Head. "And he's not just a bear! He's my friend!"

"Right." Hawk rolled his eyes. "Anyway, they've got him in the laundry room."

"They sent me a note with a picture of his tied up over one of the machines!" Beach Head told them.

"Remind me why we don't just confine them to the house?" Low Light groaned.

"You want to put up with them all the time?" Roadblock asked.

"Good point," replied the other Joe handler.

Roadblock and Low Light were two of the handlers for the mutant team known as the Misfits, along with fellow Joes Shipwreck, Cover Girl, and Spirit. They lived with the team in a modified house, and trained them on the base. The Misfits were... an interesting group. Todd "Toad" Tolensky, Lance "Avalanche" Alvers, Fred "Blob" Dukes, and Pietro "Quicksilver" Maximoff had been the original members of the Brotherhood, a mutant team working for the terrorist Magneto. Wanda "Scarlet Witch" Maximoff had joined them not long before they split off from Magneto after he had tried to kill Todd. The Joes found them and took them in. They joined some mutant kids already living on the base. Althea "Wavedancer" Delgado was the teenage daughter of Shipwreck. She had three sisters, now twelve, named Brittany, Daria, and Quinn. Together, the three were known as "Trinity". She also had a baby brother named Claudius, and an adopted baby brother named Barnell, Barney, or "Baby Beak", depending on who you asked. Later, the team was expanded by Xi, a mutant genetically engineered by the evil organization Cobra to be an assassin, and the human recruit Arcade, a genius inventor who had been in high school with the Brotherhood. With Althea as leader, the Misfits were GI Joe's ultimate weapon and the bane of their existence at times. In other words, teenagers.

Now, Roadblock and Low Light joined Hawk and Beach Head on their way to confront the kids.

They reached the laundry room. Todd peaked his head out. "Do you have the Mello Dew?" he called.

"No!" Beach Head called back. "I have General Hawk!"

"Oops!" gulped Todd, and he hurriedly pulled back into the room. The four adults could hear a rapid conversation inside the room. Then, Todd poked his head back out.

"All right, new deal! Let us go without being punished, and Sgt. Snuffles is returned unharmed!" He pulled his head back in again.

"You can't just let them go!" Beach Head exclaimed to Hawk. "Tell them you agree, and then punish them when I get back Sgt. Snuffles!"

Hawk sighed. "I can't do that," he told Beach Head. "If I tell them we won't punish them, I'll be held to my word."

"Looks like this is the only way to get your bear back," snickered Low Light.

Beach Head turned on him. "He's not just a bear!" he shouted.

Roadblock put a restraining hand on his shoulder. "He didn't mean it like that," he told the agitated Joe. "You know that. But to get the Sgt., you have to free the kids. It won't be a big deal. Don't flip your lid."

Beach Head deflated. "All right," he said. "They win this time."

"We agree to your terms," Hawk called in to the room. "Release Sgt. Snuffles, and none of you will be punished."

The four waited for a long moment, and then the door opened wide. Sgt. Snuffles came out, attached to the end of a long broom. Beach Head grabbed the stuffed bear, and cuddled it to his chest.

"Are you all right?" he crooned to it. "Did the big meanies hurt you? You'll be okay now. Yes, you will. You'll be okay."

"Wish we could say the same about you," grinned Low Light. Beach Head glared at him.

"Now make Beach Head go away before we come out!" called Todd from inside the room. Beach Head started to protest, but Hawk cut him off.

"We made a deal with them, remember?" he told the Joe. "You got back Sgt. Snuffles, so you can go now."

Beach Head grumbled under his breath, but he walked away. As soon as he was out of sight, the culprits came out of the laundry room. They were, to the complete lack of surprise of the adults, Todd, Xi, and Althea.

"Remember, we have a deal," Althea told the adults.

"We know," Roadblock told her.

"You kids really have to stop tormenting Beach Head all the time," Hawk told them sternly. Then he grinned. "Although I have to admit, you're starting to get a little less imaginative. A 'detergent bath'?"

Althea shrugged. "After the murder trial, we couldn't figure out a way to keep topping ourselves," she explained. "So, we decided to go back to basics."

"Well, at least stay out of his way for the next couple of days," Hawk told them.

"All right," Althea replied. The kids took off, leaving the three adults standing outside the room.

Hawk shook his head. "Those kids are going to start giving me grey hair soon if this keeps up," he groaned.

Low Light nodded. "I know what you mean. We're around these kids all the time. It's getting to the point where I need a vacation!"

An evil smile formed on Hawk's lips. Low Light suddenly looked nervous. "Uh, oh..."

"That's a wonderful idea," smirked Hawk. "Why don't you all take the kids on vacation? Far away from this base!"

"But where would we go?" asked Roadblock. "We're banned from all the places we know."

"I've got the perfect place," grinned Hawk. "It's in Florida."

"We're already banned from anywhere with 'Disney' in the name," Low Light reminded him.

"I wasn't thinking of you going there..."

* * *

Next time: Where are the Misfits off to now? If you think about it, it should be fairly obvious. What hijinx will they get up to? Probably the same as usual. "How much damage will they cause? See answer two. Tune in again, for chapter two of _Misfits In Space_!

* * *

**Roll call:**

**The Misfits: Althea Delgado, Todd Tolensky, Lance Alvers, Fred Dukes, Pietro Maximoff, Wanda Maximoff, Xi, Arcade, Trinity.**

**GI Joe: General Hawk, Beach Head, Roadblock, Low Light, Shipwreck, Cover Girl, Spirit.**

**Aliens: The Yardans, the Morons.**


	2. Fun With Astronauts

__

Red Witch: I'm sure it will recover... eventually...

RogueFanKC: Not so much a trainwreck as... well... You know.

Chapter 2: Fun With Astronauts

* * *

"Now... why did you bring your stuffed cat?"

"Mr. Stupid is my friend."

"You named him 'Mr. Stupid', yet he's your friend?"

"Do you want me to hex you into the next lane, Pietro? Because I'll do it!"

"Wanda, there will be no hexing of your brother while the bus is in motion. Pietro, stop mocking your sister."

Behind the squabbling twins, Lance sighed. "Why me?" he asked. "What did I do in a past life?"

"Who says it was a past life?" joked Althea.

"Funny," Lance replied, rolling his eyes.

The Misfits and their handlers were in a big green bus, heading down the highway, looking for... signs. Preferably signs that would tell them just how lost they were.

"Why did we let Shipwreck drive, again?" sighed Cover Girl.

"Because we're stupid," replied Low Light with a groan.

"Mmph!" Shipwreck tried to say. It was difficult, what with his being tied up in the back of the bus with a gag stuffed firmly into his mouth.

The gang was on their way for a tour of Cape Canaveral, in Florida. As it turned out, Hawk knew a general who knew a general who had a favor owed to him by the administration of NASA. He was able to arrange a private tour for the Misfits, scheduled to last for two days. Two days of peace and quiet, as far as he was concerned.

"I mean, Beach Head I can understand a little," Pietro couldn't hold it in. "The bear's his only friend. But you don't even carry your cat everywhere you go."

"Mr. Stupid wanted to come on the trip," Wanda stuck her tongue out at her brother. "He's here to help me."

"You're beyond help," grinned Pietro. "Ow!"

"Thank you, Mr. Stupid," smiled Wanda.

"Cover Girl," whined Pietro, holding the back of his head, "Wanda hit me with her stuffed cat!"

"Tell her you're sorry," Cover Girl said absently. She pointed at an exit ramp they were passing. "I think we were supposed to turn there."

"I know where I'm going!" snapped Roadblock. "I've been driving this route a long time!"

"Yeah," grinned Low Light. "Through rain, sleet, and snow."

"In Florida?" Cover Girl raised an eyebrow.

"Well, rain, anyway," Low Light shrugged.

"Ha, ha," Roadblock said drily. "It is to laugh."

Todd and Althea were sitting next to Lance in the back. Fred was sitting in front of the twins, with Xi next to him. Arcade and Brittany were next, then Daria and Quinn. Low Light and Cover Girl were in front of them. Roadblock was driving. And next to him, in the front passenger seat...

"I don't know why I even had to come," grumbled Beach Head. "I don't even like these kids!"

Cover Girl grinned. "General Hawk said that you need to get to know them better," she reminded him.

"I swear he's out to get me," moaned Beach Head.

"At least you've got Sgt. Snuffles along," Low Light told him.

"These maniacs will probably try to kidnap him again," muttered Beach Head.

Wanda spoke up. "Hey, Beach Head, we wouldn't kidnap him if he'd marry Mr. Stupid's sister!"

Beach Head spluttered while the other kids burst out laughing.

"Sister?" Cover Girl raised an eyebrow.

"Miss Pinkfuzzyslippers," Todd told her.

"Wasn't she the murder victim in that trial?" asked Low Light.

"Well, she wasn't _really_ murdered," Todd rolled his eyes. "It was just a project!"

"Ah. I see," nodded Low Light. He leaned in close to Cover Girl. "Beach Head's right about one thing. These kids are insane."

"Says the guy who almost drove Xavier crazy?" smirked Roadblock, overhearing.

"Yeah, yeah," grumbled Low Light.

"Mmm mph!" said Shipwreck.

"We're not stopping at the bar, Dad," groaned Althea. "You honestly think we're letting you get drunk near spacecraft? Or do I have to remind you why we're banned from the city of Pittsburgh?"

"This sounds interesting," grinned Pietro.

"Mmph," said Shipwreck.

"That's what I thought," Althea said.

"We're here," announced Roadblock.

"All right!" cheered the Triplets, clambering to go down the center aisle and out of the bus. Cover Girl held them back with one arm.

"Remember, girls," she reminded them. "No messing with their machines, no inventing new machines, no using your current machines to interfere with their machines, and no launching any rockets."

"Awww..." moaned the Triplets.

"That takes all the fun out of the trip," complained Daria.

"You're telling me," moaned Quinn.

Brittany brightened. "Well, we can still-"

"And no experimenting on anyone or anything," Cover Girl remembered just in time.

"Never mind," drooped Brittany.

* * *

"How do you all do? I'm Mr. Sneedly, and I'll be your guide this morning."

"Hello, Mr. Sneedly. I'm Cover Girl, and these are the kids."

"Indeed. If you'll follow me..."

As they followed their new guide down a hall, Althea leaned in close to Wanda. "Todd, Xi, and I are all ditching. Wanna come?"

"Duh," grinned Wanda. The four suddenly turned around a corner, leaving the others.

"We don't have long before they notice we're gone," Althea said, "so we'll have to be quick."

"Quick is what I do best," grinned Pietro, zooming up to find them.

"All right!" exclaimed Todd, pumping a fist in the air. "It's party time!"

Soon, chaos reigned all over the compound as the others decided to join the six.

"Who ate all the dehydrated food packs?"

"Kid! No! That's rocket fuel!"

"Warning! Launch in fifteen seconds!"

"What?"

"Launch!"

"Launch canceled."

"Lunch is canceled?"

"That's launch, bonehead!"

"Hey, where'd all this water come from?"

"My cookies... I mean, nutrition bars are gone!"

"Where'd those muddy people come from?"

"Um... they're not just muddy!"

"Ayyeee!"

"Pink... horrible, horrible pink..."

"I'm telling you, I saw a huge lizard run through here!"

"Hey, where'd the shuttle team go?"

"Last I saw, they were being carried off by this really big guy!"

"Who's that flirting with all the women?"

"Dude, that's my mom!"

"Eww!"

"Where'd this slime come from?"

"I tell you, I saw two kids dancing on the ceiling!"

"Aaagh! Killer robots!"

"Sorry!"

"The cat... the cat..."

"What happened to the cafeteria?"

"Who just launched that rocket?"

"Ayyeee!"

"We heard you the first time!"

"Run! It's a tidal wave!"

* * *

"I am very disappointed in you," Cover Girl told them severely. "You've been a disgrace! Knocking over astronauts, launching a rocket... Honestly, you were being worse than the kids!"

Roadblock and Low Light hung their head. "Sorry," they muttered.

Beach Head was sitting in a corner, groaning. He was entirely covered in Velcro patches.

"And look at what you did to poor Beach Head!" continued Cover Girl.

"At least he can now carry Sgt. Snuffles and keep his hands free," sniggered Low Light. Roadblock grinned.

Cover Girl threw her hands up and exclaimed, "I give up!"

Suddenly, they heard shouting not far off. "Now what have the kids done?" moaned Cover Girl.

"Um... this time it wasn't us," Todd told her hesitantly. "We're all over here."

"Then what's going on?" wondered Cover Girl.

* * *

Next time: We find out what's going on, and have a wee bit of fun at the expense of Elvis. Tune in again, for chapter three of _Misfits In Space_!

Additional Note: This might very well be the last appearance from me for the next week or two, so I thought I should warn you not to expect another update for a while.


	3. We Need Your Help!

Apologies in advance for the one-pageness of this chapter. Explanation in my profile.

hr 

Chapter 3: "We Need Your Help!"

hr 

The group walked quickly outside, and saw a whole lot of people staring and pointing at the sky. Naturally, they all looked up, too.

A huge spaceship, noticeably different from that on the Joe base, was descending overhead. It was oblong, and made of what looked like wood. Two huge cones were equidistant on the bottom, obviously some sort of stabilisers. The craft itself was larger than the building the Misfits had just vacated.

"Wow..." breathed Todd.

"Cool..." stared Fred.

"Anybody we know?" asked Althea.

"I don't think so..." replied Cover Girl.

The ship came to a rest about a hundred meters above the rapidly-growing crowd. Suddenly, the center of the ship slid open, and a beam of... not light, it was too solid to be light... shot down to the ground. Two figures could be seen traveling slowly down the beam. When they reached the ground, the beam slid up about halfway to the ship, and stopped.

One of the two figures took out a scroll, and unrolled it. He coughed briefly.

"Attention, People of Earth. We have your King. If you want him back, please give us the one you call 'Michael Jackson.'"

"So Elvis really was kidnapped by aliens?" asked Xi.

"Told ya," replied Fred.

"Not the time, guys," groaned Lance.

"Hey, yo!" Todd shouted to the aliens. "It's a deal!"

"Todd!" exclaimed Roadblock.

"What?" Todd asked innocently. "It ain't like we're using him any more!"

"Joke! We joke! Ha. Ha. Ha," the alien suddenly exclaimed. "In order to endear ourselves to your culture, we decided that humor would provide an effective means to break down a barrier of mistrust, thus making you more favorably disposed to acquiesce to our OW!"

The other alien had just hit him on the back of a waving eye stalk.

"What he means is," glared the second alien, "'We come in peace.'"

hr 

Next time: I've lost the chapter list, but I assume it has something to do with going into space, since that seems to be the premise of this story. More on this later.


	4. Aliens Want Our Help!

**At this point my chances of ever finding my chapter guide again are pretty much zero, so I'll be finishing this trilogy completely without any idea of the plot. Just to make things more confusing, I'm not going to reread anything I've already written. Hopefully, the rest of this story will be far better than anything that's come before. Now, if I recall correctly...**

Aliens Want Our Help! (Chapter 4)

hr 

It was two hours later (**an hour for every month since I last updated**). The aliens had been led to a conference room, where they had spent much of that time talking to various military, then political, leaders. Finally, General Hawk, who had flown in for the meeting, came out of the conference room and walked over to where the Misfits were eagerly waiting.

"Looks like we've got a new mission for you kids," he told them with a barely visible grimace. "Turns out that these guys, who call themselves Yardans, are at war with an oppressive over-race called the Morons DON'T SNICKER THAT GOES FOR YOU TOO SHIPWRECK! Apparently, the Morons are amazingly advanced technologically, with interstellar capabilities and weapons that could destroy entire planets. Fortunately for the Yardans, they're not very good at small stuff yet, so there's still a chance of winning."

"So where do we come in?" asked Roadblock. "Are we supposed to help them win?"

"That's pretty much the idea," replied Hawk. "They managed to steal a Moronan ship, and located us using mutant energy signatures. They think that mutants will help them defeat the Morons, and bring peace back to their part of the galaxy."

"How do we know they're telling us the truth about all this?" asked Cover Girl with a raised eyebrow."

"According to our experts, they're being completely truthful about everything," Hawk told her. "Now, I won't force you to go if you don't want to. It's up to you."

"Are you kidding!" exclaimed Todd. This is gonna be awesome, yo!"

"Yeah," agreed Pietro. Now I can spread the glory of wonderful me across the stars."

"That's just what we need for interstellar relations," groaned Low Light.

"All right, hand vote," Roadblock told the group. "Who wants to go?"

Every hand shot up. Hawk sighed. "All right," he said. "I'll let them know."

hr 

"We thank you for your assistance," said one of the Yardans. "You have know idea what this means to us."

"Aw, no prob, yo!" Todd waved.

"Glad to do it," agreed Althea.

"It should be interesting," contributed Xi.

"Do you have any food?" asked Fred.

"Trust Blob to think of food," groaned Lance.

"Do you condition?" asked Pietro.

"Shut up, dear brother," Wanda said sweetly, before grabbing Pietro's arm and twisting it around behind his back.

"Owowowowowow!"

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Roadblock asked the Yardan.

"It is eminently necessary," replied the small alien.

"Let's go," said the other Yardan, coming out of the conference room with Hawk and several others. "We need to get back before it's too late."

"Don't let us detain you," Hawk told it.

"We thank you for your gracious kindness," the senior Yardan said, bowing.

The group trooped out to the waiting ship, and the aliens and Misfits boarded.

"Well, we're off," said Shipwreck cheerily. "'Way anchor! Hoist the mains'l! Away we go!"

"Somebody shut him up," snapped Low Light.

"A pleasure," Cover Girl told him, and hit Shipwreck over the head with a rubber mallet.

"I can see stars already," exclaimed Shipwreck, collapsing.

"I hate flying," groaned Lance.

hr 

**Next: They're off! Lance makes a friend, Pietro makes an enemy, and Fred makes a sandwich! Plus, Todd flies the ship! Tune in next time, for more... Misfits In Space!**


	5. Why Frogs Don't Fly

**Misfits in Space**

**Chapter 5: Why Frogs Don't Fly**

* * *

"We're in space! We're in space!" chanted Arcade, as our heroes flew through the vastness of... space...

"Yes, we know," groaned Lance. "We're in space. And we're all going to die. Die horribly. Horrible, horrible, spacey deaths. Is there an air leak? I can hear hissing!"

"Todd, stop hissing! You're freaking out Lance!" yelled Althea.

"Sorry, Cuddlebumps," grinned Todd. "It was too good to resist."

"Speaking of too good to resist," smirked Althea. She leapt on Todd, and started kissing him passionately.

"Jeez, get a room," muttered Wanda.

"Aw," mocked Pietro. "Is someone missing their big blue Hanky-Panky?"

Wanda hexed him into the wall, and pinned him there with bolt after bolt. Finally, after about ten seconds of this, she finally let up.

"I'm okay," Pietro groaned weakly as he slid to the floor.

Meanwhile, Lance was talking with one of the aliens. Well, not so much talking. More like being helped to a convenient barf bag.

"BLEAARGH!"

"You just let it all out," the alien comforted him.

"Thanks," moaned Lance. "Sorry for the mess."

"That's nothing," laughed the alien. "You should have seen me on my first trip into space! They had to stick me in a room by myself for a couple days."

"That sounds really bad," Lance chuckled weakly.

"I'm Leelia, by the way," the alien introduced.

"Lance," he replied.

"You know," the alien said shyly, looking down, "for a human, you're pretty cute."

"Huh?" Lance asked dumbly. He cursed himself, looking at her, that he hadn't realized before then that she was obviously female. Very obviously female. Very, VERY... well, you get the idea.

"Buh wha?" he said dumbly.

Leelia giggled. "You're funny, too."

Pietro zipped up to them. "Hey, Lancey, who's your friend?" he asked.

"I'm Leelia," she said. "And you're leaving."

"Aw, don't be like that," grinned Pietro, putting his arm around her shoulders. "What say you and I get to know each other a little bettAAARGH!"

Leelia twisted, jammed her elbow into his stomach, flipped him, and slammed him to the floor. She then kicked him in the ribs, just because.

"Mother..." groaned Pietro.

"Wanna go somewhere else and 'get to know each other'," Leelia asked Lance, holding out her hand invitingly.

"Sure," Lance said nervously, taking her hand. "So... eyestalks? How's that work?"

* * *

Fred was wandering around, when he came to an area that looked suspiciously like a kitchen. Inside, another of the Yardans was humming to himself as he flipped ingredients into a sort of three-legged pan.

"Ah, allo!" he exclaimed, turning to see Fred standing there. "Welcome to mah keetchen! Would you lahk to try a bite to eat?"

"Sounds good," Fred grinned, rubbing his stomach.

"Perfect!" exclaimed the alien. "Please, come over to ze table, and I weel see eef zere eez anyzing for a big man such as yourself!"

Fred walked over, as the alien busied himself pulling various foody things out of various places and setting them on a table. Bread and many toppings seemed to be the order of the day.

"'elp yourself!" invited the alien.

"Thanks," Fred grinned, and he became to construct a sandwich that made the little Yardan's eyes water with joy.

"Eet eez wonderful to see such a zing!" he cried. "Zese seemple spacemen, what do zey know of good food, eh? But you, you are l'artiste! Tres magnifique!"

"Glad to feel appreciated," grinned Fred, finishing up the sandwich. "I'm Fred Dukes. What's your name?"

"Ah am Bernard Alfrernon!" the alien announced proudly. "But you, you may call me B.A.!"

* * *

Lance and Leelia, looking slightly disheveled, came back from "getting to know" each other. In this case, it seemed to involve lots of lip contact and running of fingers through the hair or, alternatively, eye stalks.

Todd and Althea took one look at the two, and started snickering. Leelia's blue skin turned deep green as she blushed. Lance just glared at his two friends.

"Not a word," he warned. "Not a single word."

Across the room, Xi and Arcade were standing at a port hole, transfixed by the starts passing by at high speeds.

"Pretty..." Xi said in a monotone.

"Explosions..." Arcade said, also in a monotone.

"Scary..." Althea said, pointing at them with her thumb.

Fred bounded in, looking very excited. "Hey, guys!" he exclaimed. "You've gotta try some of this stuff!" He held up a tray with a bunch of small glasses filled with a yellow liquid.

"Oh, no," groaned one of the older Yardans, catching sight of the kids, including Leelia, downing the liquid.

"Not that..." groaned a second Yardan.

"Why?" asked Low Light. "What is it?"

"B.A.'s coffee!" groaned the two aliens in unison.

"What?" gasped Cover Girl.

"Oh, no," groaned Beach Head.

And the kids' eyes started to swirl...

* * *

It was three days later. The kids were finally starting to calm down. B.A. was banned from giving them any more coffee. The cockpit was finally back in one piece.

"Hey, Todd," Leelia greeted the frog-like boy. "My dad, the captain, told me to ask if you wanna fly the spaceship a little."

"Oh, yeah!" grinned Todd.

"Oh, no," groaned Lance.

"What's the matter?" Leelia asked, taking him by the arm.

"If you have to ask that, you've never seen Toad fly a spaceship before," grumbled Lance.

"The ship is mostly on automatic anyway," Leelia told him. "What could go wrong?"

* * *

"Oh. That."

It was about two hours later. After the fire fight with space salmon and the incident with the planet-sized black ship and massive explosions **(1)**, everyone had calmed down a little. Todd was locked out of the cockpit for the rest of the flight.

"Now you see what we put up with every day," moaned Lance.

"The horror..." shuddered Leelia.

"Never again..." shuddered the captain. "Never again..."

"Zat was ver' fun!" whooped B.A. "Let's do eet again!"

"NEVER AGAIN!" the captain screamed. He started to sob.

"I think your friend broke my dad," Leelia whispered to Lance.

"He has that effect on people," Lance told her.

* * *

**(1) Brownie points for whoever correctly guesses this reference (it shouldn't really be that hard!)**

**Next time: Hijinx and mayhem continue, as do Lance and Leelia's make-out sessions. Plus, the arrival on the Yardan home world! Don't miss it, in chapter six of...**

"**Misfits in Space"!**


	6. Get Speedy

**Misfits in Space**

**Chapter 6: "Get Speedy"**

**(Title has nothing to do with story)**

* * *

Several more days had passed. Todd and Althea were tired of mocking Lance, so they kept themselves busy with make-out sessions. Lance himself was kept busy by Leelia, who, once you got past the fact that she had four disconnected eyes floating on stalks above her head, was pretty darn sexy. Wanda was going into Beast withdrawal, and the only thing keeping her relatively sane was being able to hex Pietro into the wall several times a day. Pietro, for his part, was doing his best to avoid his temperamental sister, finding such places to hide as the cockpit, kitchen, and Lance's bedroom (where he was quickly kicked out again by an angry Lance and embarrassed Leelia. Xi and Arcade had been given games to keep them quiet. They were mesmerized by the three-dimensional figures floating around their heads. Fred helped Bernard Alfrernon (B.A. for short), the diminutive but jolly Yardan cook with the French accent, in the kitchen, backed by several compliments from the crew, who commented that their meals didn't achieve sentience anywhere near as much as usual.

The adults, meanwhile, were equally as bored as the kids. Cover Girl had convinced the four guys, along with the captain and several members of the senior crew, to play strip poker. She was currently the only player who was still fully dressed.

"I win again!" she crowed gleefully. "Shorts off, Low Light!"

"(Comment deleted)," muttered the mutated Joe. "Isn't there anything else we can do?"

"Well," grinned Cover Girl, "we could always play Truth or Dare."

"No!" cried Low Light. "Not another one of your demented Truth or Dare games!"

"What is Truth or Dare?" asked the captain.

"I'm glad you asked," Cover Girl replied, an evil smile threatening to split her face.

"Doomed..." sobbed Low Light. "So very doomed..."

* * *

Not terribly long after, the adults (now dressed again) were sat around a large table in the crew's break room. They had decided to let Cover Girl give the first challenge to Roadblock.

"Dare," he told her, grimacing.

Cover Girl smiled sweetly at him. "I dare you to down a shot of B.A.'s coffee," she told him.

"Fine," he mumbled, not looking forward to the experience.

After the room had stopped spinning, it was his turn. "Low Light, truth or dare?"

"Dare," groaned Low Light.

Roadblock grinned. "I dare you to make out with Cover Girl in front of the kids," he said with an evil chuckle.

"You're still angry about that jeep incident, aren't you?" winced Low Light.

"Oh, yeah," nodded Roadblock. "Now get to it."

"I hate you," glared Low Light as Cover Girl grabbed his hands and dragged him off to find the kids.

* * *

Rarely for the trip, the kids were all gathered together in another break room. Todd and Althea were snuggled together, as were Lance and Leelia and, disturbingly, Arcade and Xi. They were watching an entertaining cartoon involving a red-haired heroine and a goofy blond sidekick **(1)**. They all turned to see Low Light and Cover Girl walk in. The two Joes walked to the front of the room, turned to each other, and started to make out. After a few seconds, they stopped, and left again, Low Light almost running.

Todd grinned. "Looks like they're playing Truth or Dare again," he observed.

"This should be fun," grinned Althea.

* * *

The two got back to the other adults. Low Light's face was bright red. He was ready for his revenge!

"Roadblock," he almost snarled. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth," Roadblock chose wisely.

"(Comment deleted)," muttered Low Light. "But I'll get you yet!"

The others just looked at him.

"Well?" asked Shipwreck.

Low Light grinned. "Have you ever _kissed_ kissed another man?" he asked.

Roadblock's eyes darted back and forth nervously.

"I think that answers that question," snickered Shipwreck.

"It was college!" yelled Roadblock. "They drugged my drink!"

"Sure," grinned Low Light.

"Low Light, truth or dare," Roadblock said, eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Truth," smirked Low Light confidently.

"Do you want to have red-hot monkey sex with Cover Girl?" Roadblock asked with an evil smile.

It was Low Light's turn to be very, very nervous.

"Well, answer the question," Cover Girl asked in a very dangerous tone of voice.

"Maybe?" squeaked the poor Joe.

"MAYBE?" roared Cover Girl, eyes flashing.

"Meep," was the only sound that Low Light could make.

"I'll take you right here, right now!" yelled Cover Girl, and with that she threw herself on top of her team mate.

"Is this a common occurrence in this game?" the captain asked Shipwreck.

"More often than you might think," snickered the sailor.

"She's trying to rape me!" screamed Low Light.

* * *

Sometime later, the adults had finally managed to stop Cover Girl from raping Low Light. The sharp shooter was currently huddled in a corner, shooting fearful looks at the angry former model. The kids were enjoying the situation immensely. It was almost too bad that they had finally reached their destination.

"Precious freedom!" yelled Beach Head when he heard the news.

"Can I land the ship?" asked Todd innocently.

"NO!" screamed the captain, all four eye stalks twitching.

"You can land my ship any time, Babe," Althea whispered with a wink.

The captain guided the ship in to a fairly small port. After about twenty minutes, they were docked and cleared to leave.

The Misfits were greeted by a small cluster of representatives.

"Welcome," said the leader. "I am Ichandrian Orellia, and this... is Yardia."

* * *

**(1) Kudos to the first person to tell me what show this is (Level: Easy)**

* * *

**AN: As you can see, I've decided to get off my large, pale buttocks (figuratively speaking) and get some work done on updating this story. I'm very ashamed of how long it's taken me, especially considering the first part of the trilogy (20 chapters) was finished in 19 days. I've been trying to do this one for months! Oh well... Anyway, chronology for this trilogy (for those who don't know) splits off from Red Witch's after "Electric Dreams" ends. Therefore, no Spyder or anyone after that! Sorry! Still, don't be surprised if I drop in a few characters of my own along the way...**

**But anyway, what will happen with our intrepid heroes next? Will they meet the (snicker) Morons? Will Lance keep making out with Leelia? Will I get any sexier? Tune in next time to find out, in the next exciting chapter of...**

"**Misfits in Space"!**


	7. There is no Spoon, Fork, or Knife

**Misfits in Space**

**Chapter 7: There is no Spoon, Fork, or Knife**

* * *

The Misfits were settled in to their temporary rooms. They were in threes. Cover Girl, Wanda and Althea were in one room. Todd, Fred, and Roadblock were in another. Lance, Xi, and Spirit were in a third. Arcade, Pietro, and Low Light were in a fourth. Shipwreck and Beach Head shared a fifth. The groups were relaxing in their rooms. Well, most of them were...

* * *

"Maybe?" fumed Cover Girl.

"We know," yawned Wanda. "We know."

"It's terrible," groaned Althea. "Awful. Horrible. Please stop."

"How could he say that?" yelled Cover Girl. "After everything we've done together!"

"What have you done together?" asked Althea, perking up.

Cover Girl opened her mouth, then shut it again. "Um... nothing?" she replied weakly.

"Aha!" laughed Wanda. "That means something! Spill!"

"It was nothing serious," mumbled Cover Girl, her face going uncharacteristically red.

"All right, now we _have_ to know," grinned Althea.

"There may have been a little... fondling," muttered Cover Girl.

"You had your shirt off and were trying to get him to lick your boobs!" laughed Althea.

"How did you know that?" glared Cover Girl. "I mean... I did no such thing!"

Althea waved a hand airily. "My idiot dad was monitoring your room when it happened," she told the Joe. "We all saw the whole thing. The _whole_ thing."

"I'm going to kill Shipwreck," growled Cover Girl.

* * *

"I'm hungry," whined Todd.

"Me too," Fred chimed in.

"Why am I not surprised?" sighed Roadblock. "Don't give me those puppy dog eyes! You had a snack not that long ago. You can wait until dinner."

"But that's going to be in forever," Todd told him, doing his best to look adorable and starved.

"Fine," sighed Roadblock. He took a small paper bag out. "I was saving these for later, but you can have some now. Just make sure it doesn't put you off your chow!"

"Hurray!" cheered Todd, as he gulped down a chocolate-covered grasshopper. "These are the best! Thanks, Roadblock!" He hugged the big Joe.

"No problem, kid," Roadblock smiled. "Here, Blob, have a candy bar. It should keep down the hunger without going to far."

"Yum," grinned Fred, taking the large hunk of chocolate.

* * *

"Cookie?" asked Xi.

"No," sighed Spirit.

"Cookie?" asked Xi.

"No."

"Cookie?"

"No."

"Cookie?"

"No."

"Same to you, pal!" Lance yelled at the wall. "What do you mean, 'you couldn't injure a fly'? Well I got news for you! You ain't no fly! Why don't you step closer and say that?"

"Something tells me young Avalanche missed his last medication," Spirit observed.

"Cookie?" asked Xi.

Spirit began to cry.

* * *

Arcade and Pietro were battling on one of Arcade's new games.

"600 points for a runner score!" laughed Pietro.

"But I double-cycle for the tag!" crowed Arcade.

"Darn it!" shouted Pietro. "Wait! I just ate a juicebug! Yes!"

"Sonic reverser!" cheered Arcade. "I win!"

"Noooo!" cried Pietro.

"Who da boss? I da boss!" Arcade chanted, jumping up and down. "Who da boss? I da boss!"

"Rematch!" challenged Pietro.

"You're on!" grinned Arcade.

"Remind me why I don't drink," groaned Low Light.

* * *

"For the last time!" shouted Beach Head. "I refuse to try to get Cover Girl to play strip poker with us!"

"Aw, why not?" pleaded Shipwreck.

"Because she always beats us!" yelled Beach Head.

"All right," grinned Shipwreck. "Let me tell you about the time I fought of a dozen space vixens with a banana."

"Now right now," Beach Head told him. "I have to go convince Cover Girl to play strip poker with us!"

* * *

Everyone met in a large dining room. In addition to the Misfits, Leelia, her father (the ship's captain), and several Yardan representatives were there.

Lance and Leelia sat together, as did Todd and Althea and, to no one's surprise, Low Light and Cover Girl (the latter have calmed down considerably).

Everyone got down to the business of eating as food was brought into the room in massive quantities. The trouble started when Xi and Todd reached for the same thing at the same time.

"Mine!" glared Todd.

"Mine!" glared Xi.

Todd let go, and it flew across the room at Wanda. She retaliated, hitting Pietro and Lance. Before long, chaos had broken out, with unidentified foods flying around the room. The alien adults looked on in confusion (though Leelia seemed to be enjoying herself, flinging food right and left) as the Misfit adults (except for Shipwreck, who was also participating) calmly ate their meal.

"Is this a normal occurrence?" asked one of the Yardans.

"Nah, they're pretty calm today," shrugged Low Light. "Must be tired."

"Look out for the spoon!" yelled Fred.

"There is no spoon!" replied Todd.

"You've been planning that line, haven't you?" accused Althea.

"Maybe..." grinned Todd.

* * *

**And so ends another wonderful chapter in this latest chronicle of the adventures of our hardy band of heroes. What does the future hold? Where will the Morons appear? How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? (1) All this and more next time, in chapter eight of...**

"**Misfits in Space"!**

**(1) 27.3 cubic metres/hour**


End file.
